Until the last day of 2014, I didn’t think I would ever find the answer to this quandary as  I was burdened with tutoring just two 5th graders in a marginalized middle class town.  I was particularly troubled by S, the boy whom I had illustrated in the previous post, No Child Left Behind in American Society, an Impossible Dream.

For me, S has been an academic Dracula.  He has no qualms about handing in his homework with the bare minimum efforts.  He isn’t concerned about getting Fs on his tests.  No matter how many times he had been taught the same concept, he wouldn’t retain it in his brain.  Abandonment and penalty had very limited effect on his level of efforts.  By the end of each tutoring session, I was completely drained as I sensed that I didn’t make a dent on his cerebral permafrost.

For S, academics has been a gamble.  He constantly wants to be lucky with his guesses.  If he gets wrong answers today, he always has tomorrows to bet differently.  As long as he persists this highly disrespectful and risky strategy with education, he has no reason to put an honest day’s work.

I needed a different method to tackle this boy.  Otherwise, he was digging his own grave in a meritocracy that had no mercy for delinquents.  Our system can always find those who are eager and ready for the opportunity anywhere on earth, if unavailable within this country.  Obviously, there was no way I could find the answer in American society where dismissal was the norm.

So, I looked for a system that couldn’t leave its members behind at all. The clue came from the military draft of my native country, Korea.  The U.S. military is a voluntary system.  Just because one chooses to join it, that doesn’t mean that he or she is allowed to defend this country.  One has to qualify.  Unfortunately, many young Americans, especially men, aren’t aware of this fact.  Those who want to conform but don’t know how to do well are turned down by the U.S military.  Since it tends to be the last resort for the marginalized to make something of themselves, they end up being more dejected than ever after such an experience.

The draft system doesn’t have such pitfalls. I happened to see its advantages from a Korean variety program on TV during the last fall.  It was a wake-up call to see how the Korean military routinely handled those who had difficulty following instructions for whatever reasons.

It was unlimited repetitions.  If the brain couldn’t comprehend the instruction enough to command the body, the latter could learn the process first to make sense in the mind. The caveat is that the Korean military doesn’t have the unlimited patience.  Therefore, those who can’t learn quickly are disciplined to focus.  If they don’t, they end up penalizing their fellow soldiers.  By and large, men of all levels of aptitude or intelligence, walk away with the same set of mandated skills by the end of their mandatory military duty in Korea.

In male-preferred society, many young Korean men knew of the lives catered to their needs and wishes prior to their military services.  It is a culture shock for them to have to stand on their own for the first time in life to fulfill each of their duties.  Therefore, Korean men would love to forget everything about the civic obligation they so detest. Ironically, the TV program kept demonstrating that what these men learned in complete consciousness became a second nature no matter how many years had gone by.

I thought the idea of unlimited repetitions was worth trying on S.  While the Korean military used them to serve the national interests, I meant to employ the same to maximize S’s academic potential.  If S adopted this discipline, he could enhance his academic foundation.

I applied the tactic of endless reiterations to S on the last day of 2014.  In the previous session, he answered only 51% of the questions correctly on the math test I had formulated for him.  Although I asked his mother to repeat the same test everyday at home, I learned that his scores improved by about 10% each day.  Before I tutored S on December 31, 2014, I knew his latest score was 81%.

I was determined to get to the bottom of S’s mind before the year was over.

I gave him the same test as soon as his tutoring session began.  It resulted in the score of just over 90%.  S was giddy with pleasure that he scored that high.  I wasn’t satisfied.  If he got the same problem wrong each time, he was having difficulty with a particular concept.  That wasn’t so.  Although he answered correctly on previous tests, he managed to be wrong on the latest one.  It indicated that he wasn’t alert.

So, once I went over the wrong answers with S, I made him take the test again.  I was supposed to tutor him only for 2 hours on that day.  I told him he couldn’t go home until he received 100.  Fortunately, the local library in my town opened until 5PM on that day while all others in my county closed at 1PM.  I had the whole day to test S.

S scored 97% or 99% repeatedly in the subsequent tests.  However, the results were consistent.  If he remembered one rule on one test, he forgot another.  His brain operated like a revolving door.  At his age, S’s mind had to function like a sponge.  By the time the library closed, I tested him 10 times in a row.  On the last run, I could detect his fatigue.  His score dipped to 90%.  And, the library was about to close. I advised S’s mother to feed the boy and rest for a while.  Then, S was to take the test again until he could score 100%.

Fortunately, I received the news on that evening that S finally managed to get 100% on his 11th test on that day, 16th in total within the 4-day period. Given how many times it took, I felt compelled to test him again in the next tutoring session with the same subjects.  Therefore, I devised another test on them with more difficulty than the previous one. He started out with 81%, and then scored 100% on his 9th test.  In the following week, I tested him with different subjects of math.  It took 5 times for him to score 100%.

Why was I so focused on getting S to score perfectly?  In our society, the score of 100 represents the best efforts, especially for a boy like S who isn’t naturally smart.  That was what I wanted to instill in S, which would be more valuable than innate brilliance in reality.

It seemed that the first time was the most difficult for S to focus.  However, once his mental muscle was exercised to reach for the perfect scores, it began to adapt to the new standard.

With the latest math test, I detected a positive development in S.  His score started out with 29%, which looked discouraging on the surface.  Once I asked him what S had difficulty with, I learned that he still hadn’t grasped the new concepts.  It was the first time S admitted what he didn’t know. The more delightful sign was that he asked very pointed questions about what he hadn’t comprehended yet.  Then, his score jumped to 51%, and then 77%  on subsequent tests.  Judging by how he solved, he understood the main principles.

The errors on the test were due to his incorrect calculations done in his mind.  The type of mistakes that S had made indicated that he wasn’t closely monitored while learning the rudimentary arithmetic.  For example, his understanding of the equal sign was shaky to begin with.  He assumed that the third power of a number was equal to triple of it.  Therefore, he calculated the latter as a short cut of the former.  It meant that S still didn’t comprehend what the multiplication table represented.  It was quite alarming to witness a 5th grader still struggling with such, and how much it affected his performance.

If S continued to be closely watched and repeatedly to practice, he was on his way to build self-confidence.

However, I’ve found out that I was not in a position to continue my regimen with S to strive for such.

It was astounding to discover that those who should be most supportive of S turned out to be the biggest obstacles against his need to meet the standard of meritocracy later on.

First of all, S’s father was perturbed by the fact that his son was pushed to do something the child didn’t like.  I was startled by how an adult man projected his own desire onto his son.  Without having acquired the discipline of doing what he didn’t necessarily like in his youth, S’s father couldn’t hold an occupation as an adult.  He didn’t focus on the benefit of having learned how to be responsible for himself.  He resented the process of assuming responsibility, and wished a life without it for his son.  In short, what S’s father yearned for was an illusion, if not for him, at least for his child.

S has quite a few relatives living in the vicinity.  And, their collective voice represented another hurdle for this boy.  These elders have grown children who completed their academic education.  And, the former haven’t experienced any positive outcome out of the latter, especially in this economy.  As a result, these in-laws discouraged S’s mother not to waste any energy on S who hasn’t shown much promise in academics.  These relatives didn’t investigate whether their own children had given their best efforts during their educational period.  Without having done so, these elders were imposing their advice on S’s mother at every chance.

The most unforeseen impediment happens to be S’s mother.  She was the one who asked me to tutor her son. However, as she discovered how much work was involved, she was afraid to do it herself.  As she witnessed how many times it took for S to score 100%, she wondered whether she expected too much from her son.  She questioned whether he had the learning disability.

Before I pushed S to score 100 on his tests, I doubted the same as his mother. However, I had refused to jump to the conclusion.  His parents are very typical middle class folks who want to fit in among others.  Their orientation didn’t allow for S to learn how to give his best efforts.  For the last 5 years, S hadn’t been pushed to do so. Therefore, it was bound to take time for him to adopt a new discipline.  Diagnosing S with the learning disability was unfairly placing the full responsibility of his lackluster performance on him.  And, even if he was declared with the condition, there was no magic pill that would vanquish it.

With every hindrance presented against S, I articulated my rationale.  S’s mother agreed with me.  However, she didn’t want to offend anyone in her husband’s family.  Instead, she expected me to understand her dilemma of not being able to push through the barriers for S.

I responded that my sympathy for her did nothing for S’s future.  She wanted to be excused for not preparing her son well.  The society couldn’t care less about such.  At most, it would offer pity for S.  It was incomprehensible why a mother would set her own child to be the subject of such.  For S’s mother, the familial approval of her now was more important than taking a chance to be misunderstood temporarily for her son’s well-being.

A tutor has the least authority among all adult figures for a child.  Therefore, I found it impossible to train S any more, in spite of knowing and having tried what was viable for him.  I wasn’t afforded the condition for my idea to work for S.  As a result, I quit as I was constantly hampered by S’s family members.

I was quite dispirited by this experience.  However, I knew I wasn’t the first educated elite who was bruised by his or her attempt to help the marginalized.  This kind of failure was consistent with just about every race or ethnicity that was alienated in American society.  All along, I merely saw the pictures that others had taken.  This time, I got to take my own snapshots of the middle class America, up close and personal.  As such, the lessons were crystal clear.

Firstly, just by looking at the contents of the 5th grade subjects, it is possible for the delinquents to catch up within less than a year.  However, that may only be possible for those who are eager and ready.  If a student himself or herself isn’t so, it becomes an impossible task.  If that is indeed the case, all that awaits this child in the future is what kind of academic slide he or she is to ride in what slope, as the effect of delinquency accumulates over time.

Secondly, upward mobility is a myth for the majority of American public.  Our system offers such for those who know and conform to its rules.  It isn’t designed to help or inform those who are ignorant.  I know that socially conscious educated elites have taken that duty upon themselves to tackle the marginalized.  However, American public can’t discern what information or knowledge indeed empower them.  Instead, ordinary Americans are blinded by what the powers-that-be say or do, which is assumed as a short cut to the equality to the latter. As a result, the fortune or misfortune of American public is no one’s fault but their own greed, ignorance, and stubbornness rolled into one.

Thirdly, our latest prolonged economic crisis revealed the limit of how far the middle class could misguide themselves.  S isn’t the first child who just wants to get by.  This country always has had plenty of those who behaved in the same manner.  However, such a conduct wasn’t an issue while the industrial sector was the engine of the U.S. economy.  No matter how badly one performed in school, he or she could get a job that trained him or her with the skills to perform the assigned task.  Until the 1970s, any academic delinquent could last a life time as a middle class member with decent wages and fringe benefits.

Since the 1980s, however, the service sector began to dominate the U.S. economy. This industry has no need to train laborers.  It requires professionals who either design or perform specific services via their academic training.  And these experts need unskilled laborers in the supportive roles.  In this type of economy, academic delinquents are destined to drift among a variety of dead-end jobs that exploit their cheap wages.  Although the U.S. economy is improving these days, its growth is mostly from unskilled labor jobs out of the service industry.  That doesn’t do much for ordinary Americans for the long run.

The low academic standard of American public also contributed to the loss of manufacturing edge to less developed countries. If a U.S. company satisfied the majority of American consumers, it used to assume that their standard would be good enough for the international market as well.  That premise turned out to be a miscalculation in many cases, especially in the recent decades.  Manufacturers of the less developed countries enhanced our inventions better and sold at cheaper prices, which appealed to the wide array of consumers all around the globe, including Americans.

Fourthly, the societal norm of a married couple with children isn’t necessary ideal for the latter, especially of the middle class.  S’s father works for a job after having failed in his trained profession.  He considers making a living for his entire family is more than enough as the head of the household. This sentiment is quite common among ordinary men.  He doesn’t want to involve himself in family matters.  Yet, he wants his household to be run by his ideas and wishes.  S’s mother has issues with her husband’s stance.  However, she regards silence as a way of keeping peace at home.  Both individuals have been doing their bare minimum as parents for S.  Each of their dysfunctional behaviors is compounding everyday until S leaves home for college.  That is a sufficient damage to a child’s conceptual and emotional make-up.

Another pupil I tutor, M, is much healthier although she lives with her mother only.  M sees her parent giving her best efforts making a living and affording M’s educational expenses. Seeing that example everyday is far much more motivating for a child.  And, all the authority figures in her life present one voice, which leaves no room for M to deviate.  Her mother, her piano teacher, and I are in support of one another’s attempt to raise this child well for the future.

Lastly, the path that feminism has taken is quite useless for the majority of men and women. So far, feminism has striven for equality by demonstrating women’s capability outside of home. Through S’s mother, I’ve witnessed that women of the middle class have hard time enough to manage the limited roles of a woman, wife and mother. They often don’t know how to balance them and which role takes the precedence over others at times.  It was saddening to see how a modern woman held onto the feminine mystique of passivity as sacred above all.

Feminism hasn’t tackled the need of parity in marriage.  I was baffled by how S’s mother chose to undermine her husband and her in-laws as she didn’t have the economic power to have her voice in her family.  Undermining is an act of disrespect and giving up, based on the sense of superiority.  If you look closely, undermining is a bundle of contradictions.  If one feels truly superior to the other, the former has to have the confidence to persuade the latter for a better method. One undermines the other when the former is cowardly and insecure. And, when one gives up on the other, the former is doing so on himself or herself as well.

The priority for feminism should have been helping women to navigate their most intimate relationships with constructive methods, which then allows both men and women to grow.  And, this objective didn’t have to involve the equality of income as the basis.

All in all, I find the middle class America thoroughly disintegrated in every possible way. What needs to be done to repair their lives?

With respect to education, neither the public school nor the quality of teachers is the issue, as I had articulated in previous posts.  With both M and S, I’ve found that they study less at home if their teachers taught the subjects easy to understand and prepared more outlines before exams.  Since the material sounded so easy in school, both children presumed that they understood until I tested them during the tutoring sessions.

To raise the national academic standard, creating the environment where students can practice what they have learned in school to comprehend is the key.  Strengthening the after-school program, especially for early graders, will tackle the potential disadvantages across the board.  This step will also eliminate the need for affirmative action that tries to compensate for the accumulated disadvantages of certain races and ethnicities with higher education.

Leveling the budget for all local libraries will also enable the children of the mariginalized neighborhoods to have the place to study at all times and to access the resources, like those who live in affluent municipalities that already offer such privileges.

Just giving a vague notion of well-roundedness as the ultimate educational goal isn’t enough for ordinary American parents.  Uninformed ones are easy targets for exploitation by private educational services.  The government needs to lay out specific targets and goals children need to reach by which grades.  The grading system also needs to put different weight on subject matters.  Even within English, students spend the littlest time on spelling to get As to please the parents whiling neglecting more time-consuming subjects like reading comprehension and writing.

With respect to the U.S. economy, the industrial sector needs to regain the driver seat back from the service industry.  That is how our system will regain its health.  How? Right now, corporate America is desire-driven, which perpetuates the class gap. Our society has many needs to fulfill, if it changes its orientation to offer equal chance of upward mobility to all.  When the economy changes its direction to be necessity-based, it offers the longevity with much growth.

Reorienting our economy in this manner will allow the revival of the manufacturing sector.  However, American laborers can’t return to the way they used to operate in the old days.  Instead of being loyal to a company, they need to be so to American products as a whole. This framework mandates them to equip themselves with the skills transferable from one product or industry to another.  They have to be mindful of the price ceiling of each merchandise not to lose the competitive edge in the international market.  While mobility is the necessity for skilled laborers, they can develop the niche to produce the best prototypes for each innovation.

Finally, as a society, we need to examine our societal standards to see whom they indeed serve.  Who benefits by having a family of two immature and unhappy parents with children?  It only serves the economy, not the people who follow the norm.

Why so?  It is because our version of meritocracy is without the boundary.  Others’ ignorance is my gain in our system.

If we define meritocracy on the condition without exploiting others, our system is then forced to offer the information about what it expects out of citizens and how to go about it.  There will be fewer delinquents.  Ultimately, that is what allows American society not to leave any child behind.

The irony is that both the middle class folks and I are non-conformists. However, the reason why each of us has become such is entirely different.  I’ve chosen to be a delinquent elite because I morally object to our societal standard that allows people to move up the ladder at the expense of others’ innocence or ignorance.  I even risked my life more than once to stand up for this belief.

Ordinary Americans are non-conformists because they want an easier route than what the system has prescribed.  They don’t want to invest in themselves.  Instead, they are constantly yearning for instant gratifications with the bare minimum efforts.  When they can’t get what they want, they resort to their size as the weapon in our system.

Correcting the flaw of our system is ideal for all.  However, the establishment, as the chief beneficiaries of our system, have no reason to rebel against it.  They know the middle class inside and out.  They have given up the potentiality that the public would ever be awakened to the truths.  So, the societal elites exploit ordinary Americans as a way of life, as it is permitted by the law.  Yet, if the voice of rightful justification emerges to alter our system, the establishment has to respond for the sake or societal order.

That leaves ordinary Americans and me.  They don’t have the compelling justification. Right now, they want to their arrogance and laziness to be equally rewarded to those who give their best efforts to conform to our societal standard.  If the public’s rationale finds its way to rule our system, that will be the end of American society.

On the other hand, I have the indisputable justification that the establishment will have to consider. However, they will only do so if it is empowered.  Unfortunately, I can’t find the support since the public is hopelessly amoral.

Therefore, our system is destined to continue its vicious cycle where the establishment and the public deserve each other.  And, our society continues it way of disintegration. Although I have the solutions, I have no choice but to watch self-destruction in motion helplessly.

I’ve always experienced that the road to heaven is paved with hell.  All along, I didn’t understand what made it so.  My latest experience with S finally revealed the answer.

To make room for some thing better, each of us has to release the immediate comfort.  However, most of us don’t want to because of the strong underlying belief that there won’t be anything better, if we let go of something we’ve already worked for.

In the end, it is the faith in our limited capability that won’t let us go forward and experience nirvana.  No one else is to blame, most of all God.